On randompokemon.com, generate one Pokemon for each of these answers.
1. This Pokémon will cook for you for the rest of your life:
Ultimate Leppa Berry chef
2. This Pokémon hates you a lot:
It’s not my fault I like your evolution more than you
3. You share your bed with this Pokémon:
WTF WHERE DO I SLEEP AND WHY WITH HIM
4. This Pokémon will sit on your lap when you are on the computer:
Goddamn I’ll be full of mud
5. This Pokémon is madly obsessed with you in a creepy/romantic manner:
C’mon I can see your light stop stalking me fam
6. This Pokémon will join your team and stay in it forever:
7. This Pokemon will kill you slowly and painfully:
String Shot, worst death possible
8. This Pokemon has a mother complex and will cling to you all the time:
Well this is weird
9. This Pokemon would risk its life to save you from any danger:
Nuuuu you’re too young to die D:
10. This Pokemon secretly touches you in your sleep:
That’s why I’ve been sleeping terrible these days
11. This Pokemon secretly wants to cuddle with you:
I can see it being Tsundere lmao
12. This Pokemon is a spy:
Mega Mewtwo X
Why be a spy when you can easily destroy everyone with your powers
13. This Pokemon wishes you were never born:
But I didn’t do anything bad to you
14. This Pokemon eats everything you make:
STOP EATING EVERYTHING AND GO PLAY SOCCER
15. This Pokemon forgets you exist sometimes:
But I can’t forget your awesome cry
16. This Pokemon wants your body.
FUCK YOU YELLOW RAT
17. This Pokemon knows where you live.
18. This Pokemon has made babies with you while you were sleeping.
WTF I’M THE FATHER OF MANY CORPHISH
KIDS THIS IS WHY YOU HAVE TO USE PROTECTION DURING SEX
19. This Pokemon is your long lost brother/sister.
I’m a Penguin and my long lost brother is a pig, wtf
20. This Pokemon dreams about you every night.
It’s because I left you in Soul Silver?
21. This Pokemon will marry you in the future.
That was unexpected but cool I guess
22. This Pokemon is you in a different life.
I’m the Madonna of Pokémon in another life? Awesome!
23. This Pokemon is your ex and he/she cries over you every day.
I’m sorry baby but the relationship wouldn’t work anymore, you were a bit spiky for my tastes
24. This Pokemon is your future child.
BUT I MADE BABIES WITH A CRAWDAUNT
25. This Pokemon has a better singing voice than you, and they brag about it all the time.
It’s way easier with auto-tune, asshole
26. This Pokemon has cut off one of your strands of hair and worshipped it for many years.
what the fuck
27. This Pokemon is racist to you and makes fun of your skin color.
What a bully
28. This Pokemon would catch a grenade for you.
29. This Pokemon was your mom's ex boyfriend in college.
A Penguin and a Shuppet, weird relationship
30. This Pokemon is that one idiot that trolled you about your art.
Fuck you asshole
31. This Pokemon is a stripper and wants to meet you.
BUT YOU’RE A MINOR YOU AREN’T SUPPOSED TO BE A STRIPPER
32. This Pokemon bought you that Snuggie on your birthday.
Dat moment when you’re friends with a legendary Pokémon
33. This Pokemon wants to ruin your wedding.
HE’LL BURN EVERYONE D:
34. This Pokemon wants to have your babies.
Sorry ma’am you’re too slow for me
35. This Pokemon writes love letters to you but can't afford stamps so you never get them.
Train harder evolve then wreck shit and get some money to send me those love letters
36. This Pokemon stalks you on the internet.
I actually really like you, why stalk me on the internet when you can read my mind
37. This Pokemon talks about you behind your back.
38. This Pokemon works at the car dealership where you will get/ you got your first car.
Being a Penguin it makes sense
39. This Pokemon wants to/ wanted to go to prom with you.
A bit too tomboy for me
40. This Pokemon lives under your bed.
STOP PUNCHING ME WHILE I’M SLEEPING
41. This Pokemon smokes in your driveway when you're not home.
Since she looks so depressed I guess she’s smoking some weed
42. This Pokemon got into your internet connection and used your wifi.
OMG USE IT IF YOU WANT JUST DON’T EAT ME
43. This Pokemon is your best friend's REAL best friend.
44. This Pokemon sings Red Solo Cup to you as a lullaby.
Oh god no, the gruesome images of him
45. This Pokemon TP'd you while you were away.
46. This Pokemon wants to be you.
47. This Pokemon really likes you and thinks the world of you but his/her mother is forcing them to marry some idiot.
Too bad she has a stupid mother =/
48. This Pokemon knows your credit card number. (if you don't have a credit card just pretend you do)
YOU WON’T GET IT YOU PIG
49. This Pokemon killed itself when you left it:
Oh god why
50. This Pokemon wants you to tag 4 people.
No way fuck your evolution and pre evolution
I’ll only tag